Evolve, Change, Become the Person You are Meant to Be

Do you find yourself standing at a crossroads? Are you facing endings in your life that feel overwhelming and even daunting? If so, join the party.

This week is a turning point in our lives. We are facing fundamental shifts and today’s transformational eclipse asks us to step into the best version of ourselves.

On Monday, we had the final Pluto square Uranus event, and we are now concluding a harsh three-year journey between these two powerhouse planets that likely have metaphorically served us all a few knuckle sandwiches. Though it’d be easy to bad mouth this planetary clash, it helped us to achieve new understandings of who we are, where we are heading, and how we want to evolve. Further, today’s solar eclipse in Pisces happens at the last degree of the last sign of the zodiac, bringing forth broad stroke changes in all of our lives.

This eclipse offers a stalwart opportunity to let go of the old, call in the new, and take a stand for the best version of ourselves.

Following this eclipse comes the spring equinox. Personally, I honor the spring equinox as the New Year (Aries is the first sign of the zodiac.) So for all of you out there who have felt that so far 2015 has missed the mark, today is your day to start over! It’s a fresh start.

Eclipses change the structures of our life forever. They bring with them significant revelations, and aha moments. This is the time to choose your evolution, not resentment or revenge. Take the high road, and let the rest of the shit go. It’s time.
Trust the process.

Pay attention to the choices you are facing and the turning points happening for you. They are major and sincere. Because new beginnings come with a deportation from the old, be gentle with yourself, especially if the changes occurring in your life bring with them grief. For those of you at a crossroads and contending with sadness, loss and difficulty, I get it.

That said, since I know change is hard, and often brings sadness, I want to talk about a topic that informs everything I do in my business: resilience.

Resiliency is our capacity to handle stress trauma or loss, and simultaneously continue to move in the direction of flourishing. It’s our ability to handle the ups and downs of life in a healthy way. It’s our capacity to stay centered even in the midst of extreme turmoil. It’s our ability to adapt healthfully to stressful situations. Or as my teacher, mentor, and friend Dr. Maria Sirois says, “Resiliency is what allows us to rise in the presence of difficulty.” Developing our capacity for resiliency is what allows us to experience joy even in the presence of our pain.

In order to develop our resiliency, it’s important to face life exactly as it is and simultaneously choose to respond to it with healthy choices. Life at times may deal us a knuckle sandwich–death, disease, or disaster. I promise you, this is not evidence of a poor execution of the law of attraction. Even in the face of hardship we have the choice of how we respond.

Resiliency means allowing ourselves the ability to face shitty as they are and make healthy enlivening choices anyway. This means granting ourselves permission to feel the full range of our emotions while making behavioral choices that bolster our ability to stay centered, wise and clear hearted!

So as we move into this solar eclipse this week, asking us to evolve, grow, and let go of the past, here are six scientifically proven things you can do to enhance your resiliency!

1. Rest. Science shows us that getting adequate sleep allows us to access our creative mind more quickly, improving our ability to come up with better solutions to the problems face. Sleep is one of my favorite ways to bolster my resiliency.

2. Lead with your strengths. Every single person has strengths. Resilient people understand the power of leaning into their strengths during difficult times. Each of us has natural innate character strengths that are inherent to us. When we utilize them, we open our capacity to feel more confident, enhance our positivity, and enhance our resiliency. The next time you find yourself in a stressful situation ask yourself this “What personal strength can I bring to this situation that will help me deal with this productively?” During difficult times, it’s important to operate from our strengths– not our vulnerabilities. Apply strengths during high and low-stress times in order to enhance hope, growth, and positivity.

3. Practice gratitude. Resilient people can appreciate the good things in life even during shitty moments. This doesn’t mean becoming a Pollyanna; but rather, feeling the full range of emotions even when emotions are anything but positive and finding meaning in the midst of suffering. Even in dark moments we can find benefits, lessons, and wisdom. If we can be with our suffering productively, we can often make sense of our suffering in a way that enhances a resilient mindset. Honor the difficulty and the suffering while staying rooted in gratitude for what is good in life.

4. Exercise. Exercise is one of the quickest ways to grow our resiliency muscles. Moving our bodies triggers a positive neurochemical reaction that allows us to feel more in control, happier, and stronger. Honestly, exercising is a non-negotiable if you want to live a resilient life. In the words of Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, “Not exercising is like taking a depressant.” Please don’t take depressants!

5. Practice mindfulness. With so much scientific inquiry around the benefits of mindfulness, meditation, and other present moment based practices, we know they are irrefutably connected to lower stress levels. I know meditation may feel hard or confusing for some, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be as simple as closing your eyes and breathing deeply. If sitting feels too painful for you, lie on your back fully or with your legs up the wall. Close your eyes and center yourself. Chill out, and come back to the present moment. Maybe just take a luxurious bath. Whatever you do, take time for you and honor it with mindfulness.

6. Write. Writing is one of the best ways to wrestle with difficult emotions or circumstances in a productive fashion. Writing allows us to not only have a cathartic experience of getting our feelings off of our chest, but it also enables us to shift perspectives and derive alternative meanings from our circumstances. When writing, give yourself permission to download whatever comes to mind, try to steer free of grammatical guidelines and just discharge what you are feeling. It’s a gorgeous way to transform your mood, find the benefit in the current situation, access gratitude, as well as cultivate a vision for where you intend to head.

It’s important to remember that no two paths to resiliency are the same. Some of the six tips above may work for you, and some may not. Determine for yourself what helps you adapt to stress in a healthy way.

This new moon eclipse may ask us to dig deep. I urge all of us to turn away from the control, and instead embrace new beginnings. Go for your dream. Expand. The last three years pushed us to get to this point, and now it’s time to stand at the crossroads of our past and look to our future. Ask your ego to go on spring break for a moment, and check in: What’s your truth? Follow that.

Stay flexible: allow room for the new and feel your feelings fully, and also know how to focus your energy so you can continue to move forward productively, with joy and health!

Remember, you are not alone. If you need anything, please reach out! I’d love to hear from you. Please leave me a comment below and let me know what’s happening for you this new moon eclipse.

Warmly,

Jenn

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3 Comments

  • Chuck Parisi

    Jenn, I can hear your voice when I read your writing. That was the first great thing reading about this. Next, I’m so sorry for your loss, and your utility problems at the country house. I’m going through some very difficult times. As it was leading up, I timed the start of a breakup of a four year relationship with the equinox. Some of my expectation was that with the anger, anxiety, and pain would lift with the change of season. I’m not holding my breath and I can’t expect that to happen overnight. What you said about resiliency gave me many angles to look from. I needed new perspectives to see my big shitstorm from. The rose colored glasses I wore when I was young are like lying to myself. I see that I can extract good from the bad if I learn to use my strengths to process it properly. Just like my perennial tulips and peonies extract the nitrogen, potassium, calcium, etc from last years dead rotten leaves.
    If I write how I learned a lesson, hopefully the lesson sticks with me longer. Thanks so much for the great insights. Thanks also for your voice. I enjoyed hearing it in my head.
    Best to you always, CP

    • jenn

      So nice to hear from you, Chuck. Thanks for writing a comment. I am beyond sorry to hear that you are going through a rough break up. Please let me know how I can support you during this difficult time.

      You can extract the good from the bad exactly by using your strengths and writing is a great tool to process deep emotions. Also, rely on your community too. I am here for you! I’d love connect in the future. Sending you so much love…

  • Hannah

    Nicole Jardim sent me this article and it just confirmed the intensity I have felt this last week. What is really cool is the one word I keep hearing in my head is “resilience” and that is exactly what you bring up here. Through these intense times, there is so much room for growth and letting go of the old. I have been journalling like crazy processing these shifts. It is very nice to know there is something bigger than myself going on here! Thank you for this amazing post!

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