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The Secret to Your Success: Knowing & Being Who You Are


There’s a really brilliant quote by my man Warren Bennis that has always struck a chord with me.

“No leader sets out to be a leader. People set out to live their lives, expressing themselves fully. When that expression is of value, they become leaders. So the point is not to become a leader. The point is to become yourself, to use yourself completely – all your skills, gifts and energies – in order to make your vision manifest. You must withhold nothing. You, must, in sum, become the person you started out to be, and to enjoy the process of becoming.”

So f-ing good. He’s basically saying that the most important task in life is to discover who we really are, what makes us tick, and what makes us come alive. Only then do we become the leaders of our own lives, our own vision, and our own dreams. Brilliant!

I love this because it simplifies everything and gives us a single focus: self-discovery. That’s it.

So how do we embark on this quest of self-discovery? By doing the inner work. The inner work is taking inventory of our lives and finding the truth.

  • Where are you living on autopilot?
  • What old wound has you in it’s clutches?
  • What beliefs are keeping you stuck?

Giving yourself space to dive deep into all that stuff is what allows you to clean house and emerge as a shinier you. It’s a process I liken to getting “polished.” It’s not comfortable, but damn is it worth it.

As you read this, I’m undergoing a bit of “polishing” myself at a personal development retreat. This kind of thing is part of my self-care and the evolution of my business. Here’s why.

  1. I can only take my clients as far as I have gone myself. So it’s literally my job to have my own mentors, therapeutic processes, and growth practices in place. In a way, I’m constantly looking under the hood of my own car to find ways to tune things up.
  2. There is no “there.” The inner work is never done because there is always a part of ourselves emerging that we need to understand and integrate into our lives. My goal is never perfection, it’s cohesion. I always want to strive for a feeling of cohesiveness in how I’m living, feeling, and working.

This retreat in particular kept calling my name. In fact, I thought about it every. single. day. It just would not get out of my mind. It took 6-7 months of this before I realized, “Wow, I need to book this thing ASAP!” When we’re being called to do something, it’s best to listen.

Manage the Call

Perhaps you can relate. Has there been a wellness retreat or personal development program on your radar for months too? Do you already have one on your calendar? What’s been coming up for you? If nothing, it’s time to open up and notice how the Universe has been speaking to you. There may be a retreat center in Hawaii that you’ve been eyeing non-stop on Instagram. Or invitations from multiple friends to attend an event. Maybe a coaching program or another 1:1 service calls your name. If so take note!

Manage the Investment

The moment you say “yes” to a trip, event, or program overwhelm or resistance may set in when you set eyes the cost. I started with personal development very young because of cancer. When I first started investing in these types of things, oftentimes the total cost was more than 2 months of my rent. To say I was scraping by would be an understatement. However, because I knew with my whole soul that I needed to attend, I always stayed open and conjured up the finances to go. It was truly this process that taught me how to manifest money.

My advice is this: stay open to unexpected resources, don’t let money be the reason you say no. Let it be motivation to get into a creative mindset and let the Universe support you. There’s the potential to dance with prosperity in a way you haven’t yet. Trust me.

Manage the Fear

As everything lines up for you to press “Buy Now”, it’s not unusual for fear to creep in. You know that retreat, workshop, or event is going to bring up some gnarly shit for you. And, well, that’s kinda scary. But, guess what? That’s a good thing. That means there’s lots of room for transformation and growth that is only going to take you higher. It’s an opportunity to develop your resilience so that you can have the courage to really know who you are and be who you are.

Being with these things allows you to move through the dark and become fiercely devoted to the light.

On any self-discovery journey, there is going to be a dual between excitement and resistance. In order to step into your true essence and become you, pushing through the discomfort is what is going to allow you to shine bright. Do the work. Enjoy the process of becoming.

Now I’d love to hear from you.  What event or experience is calling your name?  Where are you willing you to push through resistance to get to know yourself better?

As always, I send you my love:)



P.S. If you are looking for a fun retreat, don’t forget to check out Soul Camp. I am teaching this year at Soul Camp East + Soul West! Check it out, and see if it calls to you!

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  • Yari

    I’m really loving that quote. Thanks for sharing. Will also spend some time with your self-discovery questions. Feeling inspired to make some shifts

  • Katie

    LOVE this Jenn! Self-discovery + becoming. We make it so complicated sometimes, but when it boils down it’s pretty simple and pretty beautiful. Thank you for this reminder and the ways to manage the journey!

  • Ramona

    Thanks for this. I love that quote; Inam starting a new journal soon, so I think that grace the opening pages.

    I am just learning to say yes to new possibilities and then find the means to move forward.

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