- Trusting your inner guidance is extremely important. However, blanket statements like trust your vibes and follow your heart are often misleading. Inner guidance is nuanced. A vibe or an intuitive hit can easily be confused with an impulse. While a vibe or an intuitive hit is a useful message to decipher a next step or make a decision, an impulse is different. Impulses (which may feel like inner guidance) are often driven by unconscious desires motivated by a subconscious investment in keeping oneself stuck in a habitual pattern. Therefore, ample self inquiry is a prerequisite to conscious living. It is important to align the subconscious mind with an intended goal in order to create change. Additionally, when making significant changes extreme fears may come up. Sometimes change is really uncomfortable and your ego will do everything possible to keep you from changing circumstances in your life. You may mistake this as a vibe to not proceed with your intended goal for change- but this is just your ego reacting to change. Change is scary and change may feel wrong because it’s different. Becoming very comfortable with discomfort is necessary to change your life, and this is counter intuitive to theories that promote never ending bliss and consistently taking paths of least resistance. There is a time and a place for both; thus the nuances of following inner guidance.
- In order to reach out for something new, you absolutely have to let go of what you are holding onto. This can range from clutter in your home space to clutter in your heart. Relationships, physical and emotional baggage, circumstances, cities, eating patterns, exercise routines, etc, are examples of things you may have to sacrifice at some point in your life in order to achieve your next level of success.
- Take risks. Without taking risks life can remain stagnant and boring. Additionally, without taking risks your health may suffer. Neuroplasticity of the mind requires variety and change. Keeping a healthy mind means shaking up routines. Without strong risk taking muscles in place it is hard to deviate from outgrown routines which overtime will compromise physical health, spiritual growth, and general enjoyment of life.
- Educate yourself. Read, write, go to school. Learn. Make decisions for yourself. Educating yourself is one way to discover what you love, what you believe, and what excites you.
- Learn to sit through discomfort. Some of my most important emotional breakthroughs happened when I conceded to my own misery. By accepting exactly where I was, and by giving myself permission to indulge those emotions- even if they were awful- I learned the beauty of impermanence. Rather than running from discomfort, I sat through it. By doing so, my discomfort dissipated. This is both incredibly hard and incredibly easy. A paradox for sure, but probably one of the most important thing we can master.
- Love comes to you when you learn how to really love yourself.
- To love yourself fully, you absolutely must claim all of the disowned aspects of yourself. For example, if I am acting in a righteous manner and this embarrasses me, rather than beating myself up over it, or developing a perception of myself that overcompensates for the part of me I wish didn’t exist, it is far more important for me to acknowledge that somewhere inside myself I may feel as though I am not good enough. Therefore, rather than despise my righteous, embarrassing behavior, I instead find a way to feel grateful for it highlighting an aspect of myself that needs extra love + attention.
- Don’t be afraid to go it alone. If there is something you really want to do, don’t be afraid to do it by yourself. Life is too short to wait for someone to want to do what you would like to do. If you must move to a new city alone, take a vacation alone, initiate a major project by yourself, or whatever it is you desire. Sometimes doing things alone provides the greatest sense of satisfaction. Take trips alone, go out to eat by yourself, develop a special relationship with yourself, and tend to it as the most important relationship in your life. However, be mindful of falling in the trap of dysfunctional independence. Ultimately, life is about community and interdependence. But, the first step in creating strong interdependent relationships is to know who you are in the absence of others.
- Sometimes people project their shadows, insecurities, and rivalries on one another. This can be difficult especially if it’s coming from someone you look to for support and encouragement. Be careful not to take things personally or seriously. Have a sense of humor. We are all just figuring out as we go along. Keep a forgiving heart.
- Genius is discerning the right use of a work ethic. Sometimes (not always) life does not afford the luxury of time to contemplate, relax, or think and requires a sheer work ethic to get the job done. The ability to stay focused, perhaps the most important discipline to develop. Although physical work, mental work, spiritual work or domestic work can be boring or draining, sometimes all we can do is stick with it until we have completed the task or overcome the challenge at hand. Other times, surrendering and relaxing into unfinished business allows grace to handle the situation for us, saving our adrenals from fighting an unnecessary uphill battle. Learning to determine when to deploy a work ethic or to surrender helps to develop peace of mind and harmony in the body.
- As a woman it is extremely important to understand your body. Question what your gynecologists and doctors say. If something doesn’t feel right investigate. Listen to your body. Develop a relationship with your body. Be your own authority when it comes to your body. You know you best, really you do. Spend time with your body, exercise, feel your body, journal about your physical relationship with yourself. Masturbate.
- Develop the ability to say no. Learn how to disappoint people. Say no often, even if just for practice. Decline offers and opportunities that don’t feel right. Practice NO. Practice letting people down. Don’t be a people pleaser. People pleasing sucks, big time.
- The moon is extremely important. Don’t take it for granted. Follow it’s phases. Note how you feel around a new moon, a full moon. Set intentions with the lunar phases- when the moon wanes, let things go. When the moon waxes call things in. When the moon is full, celebrate.
- Happiness, the noblest priority. Tending to your own happiness helps to develop personal sovereignty and create a life of authentic success. HOWEVER, please note, happiness does not always feel good. Sometimes happiness feels like a challenge, work, and effort. In my experience this is what it feels like to fully move in the direction of my most desired outcome. Don’t get hung up on how something feels in the moment. Moods fluctuate and a good mood does not equate happiness. Nor does a bad mood equate unhappiness. Moods are like weather, they shift and change. Happiness is feeling satisfied, it’s knowing you are worthy.
- To have momentum you must connect with a purpose. Find a purpose in everything you do. Know yourself well enough to understand what purposes motivate you. That way when you need extra energy to complete a task or a project you can connect with your purpose for power. Dedicate your efforts to the highest good of all.
- When possible, give generously to others. Volunteer, donate and smile. Participate in your community. Do for others. Connect with the heart space that motivates your desire to give. Don’t expect anything in return. However, I guarantee when you are generous you will receive abundantly.
- Illness and depression may be the result of resisting the changes we need to make. They are our teachers. They have messages for us. Listen.
- Be humble and quiet. Great wisdom is found in silence. Silence is our most profound teacher.
- Listen to music regularly. Go see live music or create music yourself. Listening to music is as important as showering or brushing your teeth.
Join the revolution
Download The New Rules of Success & Satisfaction for Women in Charge.
